Ohhhh, the joy of freshman roommates.
We shall call her Sally. I met Sally on a class of 2014 facebook site and we messaged back and forth, and she seemed cool. We agreed to be roommates; I didn’t really know her, or anyone else for that matter, I just wanted to make sure they were normal, and she seemed normal. Cue to a few weeks before school started. ALL SUMMER she posted on my wall, blew my phone up, just “herpdy-derp, soooo excited for school!!!!1!!1” It was obvious that she had decided that we were to be best friends.
Okay. I can handle that. Now is time for her description: short, maybe 5’1/5’2, curvy, crazy curly black hair, and a Cleveland accent. It was move in day; I had arrived before her, and when she walked through the door I approached her, saying something, like, “Yay, we’ve finally met!” and going in for a hug, idk. Instead she looks at my fingernail polish (burgundy) and my toenail polish (pink) and she said, “Ew. Your fingernail and toenail polish doesn’t match. I don’t like that.”
That entire first week she dominated every damn conversation had with anyone in the dorm, telling them how she modeled for a hair magazine (which she brought to school, btw, displayed on her desk), how she’s Jewish, how she’s allergic to apples, how she neverrr works out but has the PERFECT body, and every boring, uninteresting fact about her. Within the first two days, she spied a boy down the hall and WAS UP HIS ASS, dear lord.
They started dating. She ONLY hung out with him, for HOURS every day, just sitting on her bed, or his bed, or idk, just together. And I was friends with him and his roomie so it was chill, until one night, he stayed over in her room (which is down the hall…really?) and they decide to FUCK while I was there. Our beds were set up so that they touched; MY BED WAS MOVING. I promptly got up at 3:30 AM and crashed on on of my other friend’s futons. She absolutely dropped everyone else who she had tried to force a friendship on (which I was cool with) but then would get emotional when she was excluded. She was a little fun sucker with everything we did. She didn’t drink, which is totally cool, I respect that, but she would join the people on the floor who went out plastered, and become distant and pissy with everyone, especially her boyfriend. With whom she fell “in love” with within the first few weeks of dating.
Oh, and she cried. Constantly. About her boyfriend, about ME, about anything at all. She cried about 3 times a week, at least. Her boyfriend and her began to fight; SCREAMING, crying, angry fights all IN MY ROOM. Now, I’m very involved at my school; I also studied a lot at the library, had a job, and had a lot of friends in the same dorm, so I rarely was in my room at all, but it realllly gets annoying when at least 2 times a week for a few hours at a time having to avoid the room. But, I understood, couples fight, and they’re in a dorm, where else are they supposed to do that?
Throughout the entire year, I don’t think she studied at all (communications major, gahh.) The TV that she brought was. Never. Off. She watched TV constantly. As soon as she woke up, the TV was on. If I returned after she had fallen asleep, the TV was still on. All day, every day. And it wasn’t even good channels; it was a very diverse mixture of ET, MTV, or BRAVO. and if she had already seen the episode, she WOULD STILL WATCH IT AGAIN. It honestly was appalling seeing that much blatant inactivity.
I mean, sometimes she would go outside the dorm. She had a job that she worked about 10-15 hours a week, an understandable amount as a college student, you don’t want to become overwhelmed. But then she QUIT because she didn’t like working on Sundays because that was the day her boyfriend got brunch with HIS friends, and she didn’t want to miss out on spending time with him. WAT.
This summer, they—as you probably guessed—broke up. She went into crazy depressive mode and BLEW EVERYONE’S PHONES UP. She apologized to me, about how she should have known, boys would leave before friends (like, no shit, everyone knows that.) She is now up everyone’s asses trying to repair the friendships that she actually never cultivated …so there’s nothing there to repair. Our circle of friends (and by our friends, I mean her ex-boyfriend’s and my friends), absolutely despise her and I just sit back and chuckle to myself. I’m excited for this year to start.