I had a mechanic who regularly worked on my car- real nice guy, a bit of a stoner but that didn’t bother me. He was working on my car one afternoon in my driveway when he asked if I knew anyone renting an apartment. I said that my roommate would be moving out in a month if he wanted to sublet the second bedroom from me and he said fine. First day there he asked me if it was okay if he put a book case in the living room for his DVD collection. I said no problem and off to work I went. When I got home, I not only found a huge bookcase loaded with DVD’s, he had also hooked up a DVD player to my TV and moved a pretty ratty looking recliner into the room. Then he proceeds to show me his DVD collection. Over 300 DVD’s total and every last one of them was porn. Straight porn, gay porn, lesbian porn, fetish porn- you name it he had it. I helped him move in a few more boxes and unpack then he cooked us a late dinner, we had a few beers and talk awhile. Around 9:30 he heads to his bedroom, takes a shower then comes out about a half hour later in his bathrobe. I was sitting on the couch reading (never have been a big TV watcher) and he walks over to the DVD collection, puts one in the player, says “You mind?” and sits in his recliner and starts watching a porn. About fifteen minutes later, I put down my book, look over to tell him I’m heading off to bed and what is he doing? He has his robe open, the recliner kicked back and he’s masturbating right in front of me! I say “I’ll give you some privacy- Good Night” and he just smiles and says “That’s okay” and continues on. Off to bed I went. The next night? The same thing- he showers, comes out in his bathrobe, puts a DVD in the player and starts masturbating to porn again – only this time he says “You gonna stay up and watch with me?” I replied “That’s okay” and off to bed I went. Same thing the next night- at which point I asked him if he did this every night. He says “Yeah, it helps relieve the stress and gets me to sleep better.” As I was usually about ready for bed about the time he came out of the shower I just let it go- no harm done to me, anyway. Then came the kicker. Sunday afternoon I headed off to some friend’s house for a birthday party, telling my roommate I’d be back around nine that evening. He says “Have fun!” and off I go. I got back a little earlier than expected and when I walk in the apartment, there’s a bag of weed and a bong on the coffee table, a porn in the DVD and my roommate and two other guys I had never seen before all watching the porn with their pants on the floor in front of them and masturbating. My roommate, without batting an eye, says “Hey- have a bong hit and join us if you want!” I politely declined and said I was going to my room to read. The next day I asked him if he was gay, as when I came in the night before they had a gay porn playing- and why else would he be masturbating with two other guys? He said no, he wasn’t but that one of the guys there was. So I ask him if he regularly whacks off with other dudes and he tells me that every Sunday night he has “some buddies” over and they all get stoned and masturbate while watching pornos. Okay… then he says that sometimes the other guys fool around with each other, but he never does that, and asks me if I mind. Now he wasn’t a young guy. He was 45 years old. I was 30 at the time. I didn’t know what to say, so I just said I’d just stick to reading in my bedroom Sunday nights. The next Sunday evening, he has three buddies over. At one point, I walked through the living room to get to the kitchen to find two of the guys 69’ing on my couch… Great. Gay orgies in my living room every Sunday. The straw that broke the camel’s back was about a month and a half later. FIVE other guys- two of whom were having anal sex in my kitchen. The next morning, I find skid marks from one of the guys sitting bare-ass on my white couch. There was semen all over the wall behind the couch. Someone had knocked over the bong and there was bong water soaked into the carpet. There were a couple used condoms on the coffee table. I told my roommate he had until the end of the week to pack up and get the hell out.
When my parents died a few years ago and left me everything I thought I’d do my friend from high school a favor and have him move in with my rent free since he was living in a motel for the past 3 or 4 years. We rented an apartment in the past and I knew he was always kind of a slob (and a hoarder) but I never thought after 10 years he would still have this issue. My first mistake was not putting ANYTHING in writing. I figured as my best friend since 1989 it really wouldn’t need anything like that. Until I first noticed my car was quickly being filled with boxes filled with old phone books and old newspapers. Then the master bedroom started to look a bit cluttered. (Don’t ask me why I gave him the master bedroom rather than the guest room) At the same time he was buying brand new things like storage bins that he never use, instead he just piled more shit on top of the bins until they cracked. This is in the first month. Anytime something would break he would just leave it there and cover it up with more things. The only thing he never covered up was the sex toys and lubes he would leave out. And by lubes I mean Vaseline! But it wasn’t even brand name. Who the fuck uses generic Vaseline as LUBE? Sure we all have our shame toys and everyone wanks, but common sense tells us NOT to leave them out when finished with them. It didn’t stop there… All the people he brought over were all homeless. The shower turned black from mold, the closet doors are broken, there’s piles of dirt on the floor, bags of recycling that never seems to make to the recycling center and the room smells like a locker room. His BF steals my drugs and money. I’ve given him another “warning” to clean up but in actuality I’m going to wait until he has cleaned the room then kick him out for good.
Keep in mind this room was the same room that only a few years ago my parents died in. That room was their final resting place where I took care of them.
My freshman year of college, my family came to my dorm room to celebrate my 18th birthday with cake and lots of presents. My dad had been the designated photographer for the afternoon, but he ran out of film right as I was about to blow out my candles (back in the day when people still used film). A My roommate, who was a photography major, immediately handed him a roll so that he wouldn’t miss capturing the special moment. Later that day, he went to have the photos developed, but when he came back he looked as though he had seen a ghost.
“We need to talk,” he said.
Turns out, my roommate had given him an already exposed roll, and when he looked at the photo of his little girl holding up her birthday cake, he also saw naked photos of her boyfriend’s penis double exposed right across my smiling face. This was porn that you couldn’t even try to plan if you tried. I was mortified, my dad was traumatized and my roommate never thought she’d see the day when a photo of her boyfriend’s penis was pointed straight for my mouth diving into a sea of vanilla cake and candles.
The worst roommate I had was Sophomore year of College. He was randomly assigned after I had been given a double with no roommate. At first he seemed fine, but it got worse and creepier throughout the year.
The first problem was that he was afraid of showering in our Suite shower. He would wait until he went home on the weekends to shower. Couple this with the fact that he wasn’t the smallest person and that he wore the same black sweatpants and black sweatshirt every day and you can see why this would be a problem. The same thing with shoes and no socks, which he stored in the common living room beneath the couch.
The second problem developed about halfway through the semester. He wore a black robe in the morning while he was getting ready for class. When he went to piss he would drape the robe off of himself, onto the floor, and then piss. This resulted in piss splatter (combined with whatever was already on the floor) all over his robe. Again, coupled with the lack of washing the robe received, you can see why this would be an issue.
As if the piss-soaked, sweat-covered stench of clothing was not enough, the third problem developed near the end of the semester. I had recently started seeing a suitemate’s friend and she routinely stayed over with me when I could get her to overlook the smell. On no less than three separate occasions I woke up to find him standing in the middle of the room, staring at us and breathing heavily. It took until the third incident before the RA (who was also my suitemate) called for an intervention for the person’s hygiene and overall creepiness of masturbating to my girlfriend and I sleeping.
Needless to say, he was placed into another suite the next semester and I once again had the room to myself.
My roommate freshman year was really cool, for the first semester. We liked video games, most of the same music, got along well, etc. We were also both majoring in the same subject, so that was cool. So, first semester went by very smoothly.
Enter second semester. We get back from the holidays, and he goes back home on the first weekend after break. He comes back saturday afternoon, and seemed generally upset, so I asked him what was wrong. Well, he never told me the full story, but his girlfriend broke up with him. After that, it all went to fucking SHIT. He would play call of duty and SCREAM at the television (on my xbox/tv/internet… we only had 2 ethernet ports and no wireless, so I would let him use mine for xbox live if I wasn’t there, and let him finish a couple games after I got back before making him return my internet). I mean he would fucking yell at this game like it just raped his grandmother in front of him.
He would get food, most notably sushi with very generous amounts of soy sauce, leave his trash on MY desk, on MY FUCKING COMPUTER, getting soy sauce all over it. Luckily, it was only on the outside, but I was still pissed. Very pissed. He left all sorts of other trash on my desk and on my bed, which I made him clean up. He seemed obvlivious to it. “dude… clean your fucking trash off my shit… seriously, this has got to stop.” “oh my bad I didn’t notice.”
He would wake up at 3 in the morning and start watching world of warcraft videos on youtube at full blast, and seemingly didn’t notice that I was in the room (again “oh sorry dude, my bad”). If he wasn’t in bed by 9 o’clock, he would come home at 1-2 in the morning, turn the light on, and get on the phone (once again…. he says “oh sorry, my bad.”).
In addition to leaving his trash everywhere, he just threw all of his shit like clothes, books, papers, gadgets, etc, under his bed, which eventually spread out into such a massive pile that I couldn’t open our dorm room door.
When he went to bed at 9:00pm and I wasn’t even remotely tired, I would turn my computer brightness all the way down and plug in headphones so he could sleep, but he’d just wake up and tell me to shut it the fuck off, to which I replied “look, it’s only like 9:30. You live with another person. I try to be as considerate as I can, but seriously, a little bit of computer glow isn’t going to kill you. Wear those eye-cover things you bought 3 weeks ago.” “oh i forgot I had those.” Needless to say, it fucking sucked.
tl;dr: freshman roommate was cool first semester. second semester, his gf (of a presumably long time) broke up with him, and he fell apart
edit: text wall also, he started masturbating to hentai when I was in the room. we were both at our desks, which were facing the same way. 3 feet from each other. What the fuck.
explanatory edit: By scream, I mean we would have people complaining from another wing of the building because he screamed so violently when he played CoD (one time from someone 2 floors below…)
I go to a school where the general populous is a bit… weirder than the rest of the country. In this weird/eccentric community, there are the kids that WE find weird. Those kids did not like to hang out with my roommate. As best I can describe, he was like a child (he was grimy). Don’t get me wrong, the kid is brilliant… but he was terrible at life. I’ll start the description in the way that I got to know him. He scratched, a LOT, noisily and mainly his face. He talked to himself, and not the confirming things I need to do kind of talk to himself, the Gollum to Smeagol talk to himself. We had public bathrooms/showers for our entire hall, he was caught masturbating in them on multiple occasions. How? Lets just say he was very vocal about it. He developed a horrendous snoring problem the week of finals. He was incredibly intolerant, as well as sexist. He frequently alluded to rape in conversation. In general I would say… creepy with a side of grime.
At college my first year roommate used to masturbate in her sleep. I would wake up to find her moaning with her hands down her pants playing with herself. She had been totally unaware that she did this because she never shared a room with anyone growing up.
This went on for 6 months. She even tried putting mittens on but she would take them off in her sleep. Finally, after therapy, doctor visits and many sleepless nights, the college decided they had to give her a single.
Longest 6 months of my life.