First year of college, standard 12×15-or-so double occupancy dorm room. I came back from winter break to discover that my unfriendly, yet clean and respectful, fall term roommate had moved out, and a new, rather large roommate had moved in.
We introduced ourselves, and exchanged a brief handshake. The giant paw of a hand that felt like a clammy bag of Li’l Smokies should have been my first indication of trouble. As I took note of this, and the unkempt, flaky beard (potato chip crumbs? skin condition?) he mumbled something about having moved in a couple of days before. Already, I couldn’t help but notice while putting away my stuff that the entire room was littered with the detritus of what appeared to be several fast-food binges. After a while, I detected that the air quality in the room lingered somewhere between high school gym mats and the back corner of the local GameStop where that grubby-looking 5-year-old Pokemon fan with permanent Kool-Aid mouth had been standing just two minutes ago.
I soldiered through the first couple of weeks of the term under slightly improved conditions, until I came back from studying late one night to find my previously-made bed completely disheveled and littered with the remains of an entire box of Dunkin’ Donuts. My roommate was nowhere to be found. I furiously discarded the box that had been left on my pillow, and did my best to brush away the crumbs and smeared-in flakes of icing that had somehow been left along the entire length of the bed. By this point, I was extremely tired, and (very unwisely) decided to delay doing the laundry (I only had one set of bedding) until the next morning.
A few days later, I find out that the rashes that had just cropped up on my upper torso are in fact not a reaction to the new detergent I had been using, but was rather a nasty case of ringworm that I contracted from the bedding that my roommate had slept on after his doughnut orgy. In the intervening days (as I later found out), my roommate had apparently dropped out of school and surreptitiously moved out, but left most of his stuff behind, including an industrial-size, nearly-empty, expired tube of Lotrimin