My freshman roommate was a bitch. It took me a while to catch on, because I’m a bit socially oblivious, so I actually ended up living with her for two years. I had a novel typed out but accidentally deleted it, so here’s the short version (yes, this is the short version):
She declared us “best friends” on move-in day. We both develop crushes on the same guy, she gets emotional and makes a friendship pact with me that neither of us are going to pursue him, then gets together with him four days later.
She and the boyfriend convinced me once to go to a party at another nearby school. He drove, and I made her promise they wouldn’t leave without me, because my phone was broken and I didn’t know anyone else there. They left without me because she didn’t want me to be an awkward third wheel. I had to walk back five miles in the rain. He felt awful about it when he found out afterwards, but she just said it was my fault for not having a phone.
She hated everyone, purposefully alienated the friends I’d bring back to our room, and talked shit about me behind my back (I didn’t find out about this for a couple of years). She accused everyone around us of being cheating sluts, but she was the one who was actually cheating on her boyfriend.
Said boyfriend paid her tuition for two semesters, because she had chronic money troubles (caused by her own irresponsibility). Another mutual friend paid her tuition once, because she strung him along romantically for months but didn’t find him attractive enough to actually sleep with.
Boyfriend also tutored her and did all of her homework for her, because she couldn’t pass a class to save her life. She had “severe test anxiety” and failed all of her exams, and would badger me to find out my grades for the sole purpose of getting pissed and passive-aggressive. She told me while having a mental breakdown during finals week that her boyfriend was literally the only reason that she hadn’t failed out; he did her assignments and lab write-ups, and she got 30-50%s on her tests, which was barely enough to get a C- in most classes. She alluded to sleeping with her TAs for extra credit. I know she was sleeping with project partners in exchange for doing work.
She never took responsibility for anything. She got her license suspended because she thought she could get away with not paying a speeding ticket. She gained 40 pounds and blamed it on her birth control, when she had eaten nothing but cheese pizza and poptarts for the previous 6 months (she’s a vegetarian because meat is unhealthy).
After all this, she had the audacity to call me a dumb slut for getting a boyfriend and changing my major. Thankfully I’m not living with her anymore, although I still see her around…