I had a mechanic who regularly worked on my car- real nice guy, a bit of a stoner but that didn’t bother me. He was working on my car one afternoon in my driveway when he asked if I knew anyone renting an apartment. I said that my roommate would be moving out in a month if he wanted to sublet the second bedroom from me and he said fine. First day there he asked me if it was okay if he put a book case in the living room for his DVD collection. I said no problem and off to work I went. When I got home, I not only found a huge bookcase loaded with DVD’s, he had also hooked up a DVD player to my TV and moved a pretty ratty looking recliner into the room. Then he proceeds to show me his DVD collection. Over 300 DVD’s total and every last one of them was porn. Straight porn, gay porn, lesbian porn, fetish porn- you name it he had it. I helped him move in a few more boxes and unpack then he cooked us a late dinner, we had a few beers and talk awhile. Around 9:30 he heads to his bedroom, takes a shower then comes out about a half hour later in his bathrobe. I was sitting on the couch reading (never have been a big TV watcher) and he walks over to the DVD collection, puts one in the player, says “You mind?” and sits in his recliner and starts watching a porn. About fifteen minutes later, I put down my book, look over to tell him I’m heading off to bed and what is he doing? He has his robe open, the recliner kicked back and he’s masturbating right in front of me! I say “I’ll give you some privacy- Good Night” and he just smiles and says “That’s okay” and continues on. Off to bed I went. The next night? The same thing- he showers, comes out in his bathrobe, puts a DVD in the player and starts masturbating to porn again – only this time he says “You gonna stay up and watch with me?” I replied “That’s okay” and off to bed I went. Same thing the next night- at which point I asked him if he did this every night. He says “Yeah, it helps relieve the stress and gets me to sleep better.” As I was usually about ready for bed about the time he came out of the shower I just let it go- no harm done to me, anyway. Then came the kicker. Sunday afternoon I headed off to some friend’s house for a birthday party, telling my roommate I’d be back around nine that evening. He says “Have fun!” and off I go. I got back a little earlier than expected and when I walk in the apartment, there’s a bag of weed and a bong on the coffee table, a porn in the DVD and my roommate and two other guys I had never seen before all watching the porn with their pants on the floor in front of them and masturbating. My roommate, without batting an eye, says “Hey- have a bong hit and join us if you want!” I politely declined and said I was going to my room to read. The next day I asked him if he was gay, as when I came in the night before they had a gay porn playing- and why else would he be masturbating with two other guys? He said no, he wasn’t but that one of the guys there was. So I ask him if he regularly whacks off with other dudes and he tells me that every Sunday night he has “some buddies” over and they all get stoned and masturbate while watching pornos. Okay… then he says that sometimes the other guys fool around with each other, but he never does that, and asks me if I mind. Now he wasn’t a young guy. He was 45 years old. I was 30 at the time. I didn’t know what to say, so I just said I’d just stick to reading in my bedroom Sunday nights. The next Sunday evening, he has three buddies over. At one point, I walked through the living room to get to the kitchen to find two of the guys 69’ing on my couch… Great. Gay orgies in my living room every Sunday. The straw that broke the camel’s back was about a month and a half later. FIVE other guys- two of whom were having anal sex in my kitchen. The next morning, I find skid marks from one of the guys sitting bare-ass on my white couch. There was semen all over the wall behind the couch. Someone had knocked over the bong and there was bong water soaked into the carpet. There were a couple used condoms on the coffee table. I told my roommate he had until the end of the week to pack up and get the hell out.
Not a flusher
One of my female roommate wouldn’t flush her toilet paper. So she would wipe and then stack them in the trash can in the bathroom. And never removed them, so eventually the long tower of tilting, used TP just fell over. It was disgusting. She also left her long, curly hair int he drain after putting gel in it, clogging the sink. No matter how many times we gently asked her to remove it, she never did.
Girl With a dog
– the girl who told me her dog was completely house trained before I moved in, only to find out what she thought was house trained and what I thought was house trained were two completely different things. Nothing like coming home to a steaming pile of dog crap on a newspaper and having the dog owner not understand what the issue is.
Farm Girl Roommate
– the farm girl roommate who would leave her wet towels on the floor of her closet in the bathroom for weeks and would start to do the dishes by filling up the sink with water and dirty dishes, and then leave them set for days (a wonder why I never finished the dishes!) Also, because she grew up on a farm with an old septic system, was in the habit of disposing of used internal hygiene products in the garbage. Which is totally fine. Except she didn’t wrap them up in anything, just tossed them on top of the in-plain-view garbage bin… (sorry for the visual!)
Poo dreams
first ever roommate drank herself into a ‘sleep walking state,’ and long story short – shat in the shared bathroom (it was a college dorm), someone saw her “playing” in it, and she came back to our room with it on her. Best bit? When I woke the RA to come make sure my roommate wasn’t dying, I went to shut the door to lock her in and stay with the RA that night (the stench was horrible) only to touch a door handle full of poo.
Needless to say I didn’t sleep that night and yelled at her first thing in the morning. RA and custodians made her clean it all up…and I moved out shortly after!
Only a hoarder could…
When my parents died a few years ago and left me everything I thought I’d do my friend from high school a favor and have him move in with my rent free since he was living in a motel for the past 3 or 4 years. We rented an apartment in the past and I knew he was always kind of a slob (and a hoarder) but I never thought after 10 years he would still have this issue. My first mistake was not putting ANYTHING in writing. I figured as my best friend since 1989 it really wouldn’t need anything like that. Until I first noticed my car was quickly being filled with boxes filled with old phone books and old newspapers. Then the master bedroom started to look a bit cluttered. (Don’t ask me why I gave him the master bedroom rather than the guest room) At the same time he was buying brand new things like storage bins that he never use, instead he just piled more shit on top of the bins until they cracked. This is in the first month. Anytime something would break he would just leave it there and cover it up with more things. The only thing he never covered up was the sex toys and lubes he would leave out. And by lubes I mean Vaseline! But it wasn’t even brand name. Who the fuck uses generic Vaseline as LUBE? Sure we all have our shame toys and everyone wanks, but common sense tells us NOT to leave them out when finished with them. It didn’t stop there… All the people he brought over were all homeless. The shower turned black from mold, the closet doors are broken, there’s piles of dirt on the floor, bags of recycling that never seems to make to the recycling center and the room smells like a locker room. His BF steals my drugs and money. I’ve given him another “warning” to clean up but in actuality I’m going to wait until he has cleaned the room then kick him out for good.
Keep in mind this room was the same room that only a few years ago my parents died in. That room was their final resting place where I took care of them.
Ms and Mr. Little Piggy-Wiggy
Okay, so, How to start this story off…
My boyfriend and I had moved from his parents house into a different town, and location. With our three roommates (Now just one, but we have allot of roommates) Before we had moved into the house we are currently staying in, one of our roommates would let their dogs shit everywhere, punish them two hours later, complain that she can’t wash dishes because she needed gloves. Doesn’t clean after herself once she gets done cooking. She would take showers with her dogs, Gross! Who does that?! Her and her boyfriend would leave Three WEEK old dish in their bedroom and under their bed.
She would make these “Sounds” that an ANIME character would. She did this on a daily basis. Hell, she makes baby noises when they are having sex (Mind you, we could hear them clear as day). She ate a WHOLE entire pizza by herself, high jack my drink (Though I do this to my bff though its different) and drink half of it and only leave me just a few sips left…Thanks bitch. She would complain how dirty the house was and how MY cat was missing the litter box and be shitting on the tile in the bathroom while her dogs shit EVERYWHERE.
Once we had moved into our house we are living in, we would come home from work and she would be complain how her feet hurt, how tired she was, how she can’t run because of her ankles…Bitch was to fucking fat to run, now I know that was mean to say, but by God she was to fat to even run to save herself. She had left her room a mess, to where you can’t even walk in! Once, when we looked at the house, she wanted the bigger bedroom because of the bed, saying she had a bad back. While my boyfriend had a fucked up back, it’s not alined right I do forgot what it was called. Scoliosis or something like it. Her and her boyfriend would complain about the smell of pot that we smoke upstairs and how it leads down stairs. They complain how we don’t invite them to anything, when we would throw a beer party. They eat everything in the house, use all of the TP and paper towels.
Now remember what I said about how she needed to use gloves for dishes? Well she did them once,… only half of them and asked ME to do the rest because her feet were hurting. She has to sit every time we go somewhere. She had started pacing up their shit, or should I say made her boyfriends brother and sister pack up her shit for her. And she would sit on the bed, demanding them to put shit in shit and what not. She had the nerve to ask me not to tell anyone that they were moving, while it was obvious that their shit was gone… Once, she had asked me if I needed anything and I said “Yea, a toothbrush.” so, she bought one, and asked me to have it and gave me hers… of course me not wanting to be a bitch said sure…all because the fucking toothbrush was her favorite color. They would leave trash every where not do a damn thing about cleaning, just watch people do it, and when they do clean they expect someone to do the dishes, because they wiped and swept and taken out the trash. Lazy ass people I’m glad they are gone, were still trying to get the smell of rotten pussy and ass with a hit of sweaty balls out of the room they were in.
The Collector
We didn’t notice roommate’s hoarding problem right away because she has, by far, the largest room. She subtly ‘contributed’ furniture to the household. Bookcases, end tables (5 of them!) an old desk. Then stored excess stuff from her bedroom on and in these items. Before long her collections dominated the house and her argument was that the stuff and furniture belonged to her and she could do what she pleased…even the 6 months worth of magazines she never read were not to be touched on ‘her’ coffee table or she’d throw a tantrum like a child. Seeing that she’s 25 years old I was not about to coddle her. I explained that I pay 1/3 of the rent and would like to have use of one third the space. Expectantly she said I couldn’t use her stuff and with second roomie’s backup we told her to take her shit out of the common area if she doesn’t want it used by anyone. We all know damn well it all wont fit in her room. She allowed us to clean the common room of her debris in exchange for allowing her to have two giant bookcases full of her stuff in there. The cases are an eyesore but apparently not the worst we have to endure, girl smells. I share a wall with the bathroom so I know she’s bathing every 1 to 2 but I also share a wall with the laundry and I’ve never seen her bedding washed. Let alone her curtains or window open. The smell is stale sweat and it is so bad it’s began to waft into the hall outside her door…which is right in front of the entrance. Just hits you when you walk in, I’m embarassed to have people over. Other roommate just walks guests straight to her bedroom to avoid the psycho’s clutter and stench.
Princess Nightmare In the Kitchen
I live in a four bedroom house, but after our 4th left we had an empty room. Come november, one roommate suggested a friend of his to live with us because she didn’t like living all alone and it lowers our rent to have all rooms filled. This girl started off polite, she too enjoys baking and claims to keep the kitchen clean. Fast forward five months, she has become “paleo” a diet where she cooks all her own food from fresh supplies and doesn’t clean up after herself. She makes eggs and bacon for breakfast very morning and leaves her dishes in the sink all the time. (I’ll add, I got food poisoning from bacon when I was a child and the smell makes me sick) She cooks more elaborate dinners that take hours of prep time, but can’t take the time to wash the stupid dishes. We don’t have a garbage disposal in the house either, and she consistently leaves food in the trap. Its gotten so bad that the sink smells rancid and our friends don’t like coming over. Because I can’t live with her again we’ve started the search for her replacement and she has refused to let us show her bedroom even though the landlord has claimed 24 hours notice is sufficient to show the room. I’ve cleaned the kitchen everyday for the past three days and everyday I get home from school and the counters and stove are a mess again. She has contacted the landlord about getting out of her lease early and moving out next month because she feels she can have whatever she wants, and her mother just bails her out of everything. The funniest part is that she wound up in that apartment alone because she couldn’t get along with her first roommate of college.
Fat and lazy spoiled brat…
Me and my roommate…get…along…in most cases. If I wasn’t her roommate, I’d like her…
I’ve lived with her for about only seven months, and let’s just say, I hate that this is my first college experience.
When I first moved into dorms on the college campus, I was place into community housing because all of the dorm “apartments” (in all simplicity that’s what they were…) were all full…I had another roommate who was a partier…She stayed out all night, came home three in the morning, slamming doors, and turning on all the lights in the room…That’s where I met Danielle, my current roommate…She hadn’t had her roommate come, since by the move in date she decided that she wanted an apartment off campus. I started hanging out with Danielle and liked her. I spent most of my nights in her room and I’d return to mine to sleep. We all got an email that said the housing office still had rooms available and we could meet with them. That is how Danielle and I became roommates…
I went to talk to the housing and they gave us a room, or rather an efficiency, that was only to house one person but they could move to beds into. It doesn’t have rooms, it has a living room, kitchen and bathroom…we use the couch to separate the sides of the room…let’s just say, it was way better than community housing…so I thought…
I never had a problem with her until I learned her ways…she was the baby of the family…spoiled rotten, never did anything for herself…so really I’m the maid, taking out trash, doing dishes constantly, and unclogging the toilet…while she sits around…eating…all the time.
Danielle is a good person, she doesn’t realize she does it…and that’s the problem…I’m too nice to tell her off…I live with her, I don’t want things to get sour…but right now, listening to her snoring, not because she can’t breathe through her nasal passages…because she is so fat she literally is crushing herself…she’s nasty, her feet always stink and she leaves her underwear on the floor, which is the side we keep the TV and everything on…and is also the first thing you see walking into the dorm room…my friends don’t come over because of the smell of her dirty clothes, and because that side is so messy you can’t really hang out…
Tomorrow we have inspection and that is the only time she has cleaned….all last week I cleaned the whole house and today she complained to me because I went to my friend’s house to help her with something. She only complained because I wasn’t there cleaning. I told her I cleaned all day prior…it was her turn. And I was surprised she actually did it. First time ever my side has looked messier than hers…and it’s the boxes I’m putting into my car before the inspection…
She also eats all of my food before I can get a little bit…I may offer you to have some, it doesn’t mean you eat all of it…I got some actual homemade food from my boyfriend…I told her she could have a little bit, guess what she does, take most of everything out…He made it so I could take it home and freeze it…I hadn’t had any of it…and it’s my favorite food he makes…she also takes all my waters, and says she’s buying the next batch, but by the time I’m done waiting for her to, I do it out of desperation…the water here has an advisory, we can’t drink tap even with a filter….which sucks…
If we had separate rooms I wouldn’t have to deal with her…She likes to tell me lies to try and impress me, like, “All my teachers in Highschool loved me so much.” or, “My dad is planning to get me a brand new Nissan Altima. And he’s gonna pay for the insurance too!”
I hear a lot about how her family loves her so much…and I think it’s because two weeks before school I was having drama caused by my mother, who kicked me out…which has depressed me…I have always had mom drama, but what sucks is if I try to talk to her about it, she tells me that my problems aren’t as rough as hers…she’s not working, and she’s getting a free ride through college…I’m having financial problems, and am gonna have to quit school for a year, because of the debt I’m in…I’ve told her and she kinda likes to rub in my face that I, “apparently didn’t try hard enough.” (her words)
She’s rude, lazy and I really can’t wait to have this semester over with…I sometimes feel like she’s my younger sister and I need a break from watching her…and trust me, my 8 year old sister is so much better than her, and I have problems with my sister…
I know there are worse people out there to live with….that I am grateful not to have…but this as a first year experience…has totally ruined my prospective on having a college roommate…