I had a mechanic who regularly worked on my car- real nice guy, a bit of a stoner but that didn’t bother me. He was working on my car one afternoon in my driveway when he asked if I knew anyone renting an apartment. I said that my roommate would be moving out in a month if he wanted to sublet the second bedroom from me and he said fine. First day there he asked me if it was okay if he put a book case in the living room for his DVD collection. I said no problem and off to work I went. When I got home, I not only found a huge bookcase loaded with DVD’s, he had also hooked up a DVD player to my TV and moved a pretty ratty looking recliner into the room. Then he proceeds to show me his DVD collection. Over 300 DVD’s total and every last one of them was porn. Straight porn, gay porn, lesbian porn, fetish porn- you name it he had it. I helped him move in a few more boxes and unpack then he cooked us a late dinner, we had a few beers and talk awhile. Around 9:30 he heads to his bedroom, takes a shower then comes out about a half hour later in his bathrobe. I was sitting on the couch reading (never have been a big TV watcher) and he walks over to the DVD collection, puts one in the player, says “You mind?” and sits in his recliner and starts watching a porn. About fifteen minutes later, I put down my book, look over to tell him I’m heading off to bed and what is he doing? He has his robe open, the recliner kicked back and he’s masturbating right in front of me! I say “I’ll give you some privacy- Good Night” and he just smiles and says “That’s okay” and continues on. Off to bed I went. The next night? The same thing- he showers, comes out in his bathrobe, puts a DVD in the player and starts masturbating to porn again – only this time he says “You gonna stay up and watch with me?” I replied “That’s okay” and off to bed I went. Same thing the next night- at which point I asked him if he did this every night. He says “Yeah, it helps relieve the stress and gets me to sleep better.” As I was usually about ready for bed about the time he came out of the shower I just let it go- no harm done to me, anyway. Then came the kicker. Sunday afternoon I headed off to some friend’s house for a birthday party, telling my roommate I’d be back around nine that evening. He says “Have fun!” and off I go. I got back a little earlier than expected and when I walk in the apartment, there’s a bag of weed and a bong on the coffee table, a porn in the DVD and my roommate and two other guys I had never seen before all watching the porn with their pants on the floor in front of them and masturbating. My roommate, without batting an eye, says “Hey- have a bong hit and join us if you want!” I politely declined and said I was going to my room to read. The next day I asked him if he was gay, as when I came in the night before they had a gay porn playing- and why else would he be masturbating with two other guys? He said no, he wasn’t but that one of the guys there was. So I ask him if he regularly whacks off with other dudes and he tells me that every Sunday night he has “some buddies” over and they all get stoned and masturbate while watching pornos. Okay… then he says that sometimes the other guys fool around with each other, but he never does that, and asks me if I mind. Now he wasn’t a young guy. He was 45 years old. I was 30 at the time. I didn’t know what to say, so I just said I’d just stick to reading in my bedroom Sunday nights. The next Sunday evening, he has three buddies over. At one point, I walked through the living room to get to the kitchen to find two of the guys 69’ing on my couch… Great. Gay orgies in my living room every Sunday. The straw that broke the camel’s back was about a month and a half later. FIVE other guys- two of whom were having anal sex in my kitchen. The next morning, I find skid marks from one of the guys sitting bare-ass on my white couch. There was semen all over the wall behind the couch. Someone had knocked over the bong and there was bong water soaked into the carpet. There were a couple used condoms on the coffee table. I told my roommate he had until the end of the week to pack up and get the hell out.
Not a flusher
One of my female roommate wouldn’t flush her toilet paper. So she would wipe and then stack them in the trash can in the bathroom. And never removed them, so eventually the long tower of tilting, used TP just fell over. It was disgusting. She also left her long, curly hair int he drain after putting gel in it, clogging the sink. No matter how many times we gently asked her to remove it, she never did.
Girl With a dog
– the girl who told me her dog was completely house trained before I moved in, only to find out what she thought was house trained and what I thought was house trained were two completely different things. Nothing like coming home to a steaming pile of dog crap on a newspaper and having the dog owner not understand what the issue is.
Farm Girl Roommate
– the farm girl roommate who would leave her wet towels on the floor of her closet in the bathroom for weeks and would start to do the dishes by filling up the sink with water and dirty dishes, and then leave them set for days (a wonder why I never finished the dishes!) Also, because she grew up on a farm with an old septic system, was in the habit of disposing of used internal hygiene products in the garbage. Which is totally fine. Except she didn’t wrap them up in anything, just tossed them on top of the in-plain-view garbage bin… (sorry for the visual!)
Poo dreams
first ever roommate drank herself into a ‘sleep walking state,’ and long story short – shat in the shared bathroom (it was a college dorm), someone saw her “playing” in it, and she came back to our room with it on her. Best bit? When I woke the RA to come make sure my roommate wasn’t dying, I went to shut the door to lock her in and stay with the RA that night (the stench was horrible) only to touch a door handle full of poo.
Needless to say I didn’t sleep that night and yelled at her first thing in the morning. RA and custodians made her clean it all up…and I moved out shortly after!
Ms and Mr. Little Piggy-Wiggy
Okay, so, How to start this story off…
My boyfriend and I had moved from his parents house into a different town, and location. With our three roommates (Now just one, but we have allot of roommates) Before we had moved into the house we are currently staying in, one of our roommates would let their dogs shit everywhere, punish them two hours later, complain that she can’t wash dishes because she needed gloves. Doesn’t clean after herself once she gets done cooking. She would take showers with her dogs, Gross! Who does that?! Her and her boyfriend would leave Three WEEK old dish in their bedroom and under their bed.
She would make these “Sounds” that an ANIME character would. She did this on a daily basis. Hell, she makes baby noises when they are having sex (Mind you, we could hear them clear as day). She ate a WHOLE entire pizza by herself, high jack my drink (Though I do this to my bff though its different) and drink half of it and only leave me just a few sips left…Thanks bitch. She would complain how dirty the house was and how MY cat was missing the litter box and be shitting on the tile in the bathroom while her dogs shit EVERYWHERE.
Once we had moved into our house we are living in, we would come home from work and she would be complain how her feet hurt, how tired she was, how she can’t run because of her ankles…Bitch was to fucking fat to run, now I know that was mean to say, but by God she was to fat to even run to save herself. She had left her room a mess, to where you can’t even walk in! Once, when we looked at the house, she wanted the bigger bedroom because of the bed, saying she had a bad back. While my boyfriend had a fucked up back, it’s not alined right I do forgot what it was called. Scoliosis or something like it. Her and her boyfriend would complain about the smell of pot that we smoke upstairs and how it leads down stairs. They complain how we don’t invite them to anything, when we would throw a beer party. They eat everything in the house, use all of the TP and paper towels.
Now remember what I said about how she needed to use gloves for dishes? Well she did them once,… only half of them and asked ME to do the rest because her feet were hurting. She has to sit every time we go somewhere. She had started pacing up their shit, or should I say made her boyfriends brother and sister pack up her shit for her. And she would sit on the bed, demanding them to put shit in shit and what not. She had the nerve to ask me not to tell anyone that they were moving, while it was obvious that their shit was gone… Once, she had asked me if I needed anything and I said “Yea, a toothbrush.” so, she bought one, and asked me to have it and gave me hers… of course me not wanting to be a bitch said sure…all because the fucking toothbrush was her favorite color. They would leave trash every where not do a damn thing about cleaning, just watch people do it, and when they do clean they expect someone to do the dishes, because they wiped and swept and taken out the trash. Lazy ass people I’m glad they are gone, were still trying to get the smell of rotten pussy and ass with a hit of sweaty balls out of the room they were in.
fk my life
I am a college freshman and i didnt get pair up with the roomate i chose, so i was assigned to a random guy. The guy is asian, which give me a relief since i thought that asian should have any bad habit,they are usually clean and nice.I am asian myself ,so i know its much better than ending up with a pothead.
As it turn out, he do not do drugs and does not party. He also does not have a normal sleeping habit. He take 8naps a day, and set up 16 alarms to wake him up. This is what make me hate him, he should fking know that others have to fking sleep too, his fking alarm wakes me up 3-6 times every night. He is also a heavy sleeper which make it difficult for the alarm to wake him up, so i have to listen to each alarm to go on for at least 3 min. He also snoree really loud, like really loud, i max the volume on my laptop and can still hear his snore.
Beside from bad sleeping habit, he is also really dirty, he wear the same sweater and sweat pant for the 3months i’ve been living with him. He also shower faster than i brush my teeth, for the past 3 months i’ve only seen him taking shower once.How i know he dont shower? I know because his soap bar is still the same size as 3 months ago,and that is the product he use.
When i first move in ,in late august when it was still hot, the room temperature is always hotter than outside, because all the heat he release.The room always smells like shit.The guy dont shower, and has really strong body ordor, plus the only window is next to his bed ,which he never open .
He also stacks up his trash, he only clear them out once at the end of the week.He bought all the food back to the room and eat them.So, at the end of the week there would be like 30 smelly food containers on his table.
Bringing guns into the dorm
My freshman year roommate was a complete psycho. He moved into the dorm room a few hours before I got there and proceeded to divvy out what he thought should be his, stacking his shit on both sides, and claiming both bookshelves. His parents seemed pretty cool, but promptly left when he through a fit after I asked if I could use one of the bookshelves. Fit throwing was pretty much a precursor to our entire term sharing the room. Everything I did he would complain about, and after the first month he got extremely confrontational; up in my face trying to throw down at the littlest things. Half way into the term he decided to join the pistol club, but because he was a psycho he thought it would be best if he kept the gun in our room.
Now I’ve been around guns most my life, and didn’t have a huge issue with him keeping it in the room (even though it was grounds for immediate eviction from the dorms, and expulsion from the university) I figured it was his, and if shit hit the fan I’d just play ignorant and let him take the fall.
Having firearm experience I know it’s generally not a good idea to keep a weapon loaded, or out of a case/lock box for obvious reasons, and being it was the dorms I figured he’d be discreet and at least keep it in his closet or something. O’ was I wrong…. One day I came home and he was freaking out about one of his midterms (that he had apparently failed) and I told him to chill the fuck out only to have him pull back his pillow and show me the gun. He asked me if I had anything else to say… I lost my shit started cussing him out and telling him how fucking unacceptable it was to just leave that out lying around. He then informed me that loaded, under his pillow, was where he kept it (barrel pointed towards my bed).
I told him that I wanted a new roommate and that when I returned the pistol had better be out of our room. Went down to the RD’s room and requested a new roommate (I didn’t throw him under the bus, not wanting to ruin his life… but enough was enough). After a few days of staying with a friend I came back and all his shit was moved out of the room. I found out through our RA that he had a mental breakdown (probably figuring I’d snitched about the gun) packed up his shit and moved into another dorm.
Apparently after finals week he left the gun out on his desk when packing up for winter break, the RA in his new dorm saw it and he was evicted from university housing and was scheduled to go in front of a university panel to “discuss” his future at the school.. Fortunately for everyone he flunked out and didn’t return for winter term.
Two HORRID roommates
I had two HORRID roommates that have turned me off roommates until I move in with my future ex.
1. Bounced every one of her checks to me for utilities, and half her rent checks. Almost got me evicted and in debt.
She also held beer bashes at our place where there was a lot of drug use, loud people, people throwing beer cans onto the lawn (our landlord lived on the first floor so it is not like we would not be caught easily.) This was before either of us was 21, so the beer itself was illegal.
2. ROOMMATE FROM HELL
1. Used the money we were both putting towards a used fridge to buy a fish tank instead
2. Told me were not getting the cat we had agreed on getting because 1. would eat the fish. 2. her boyfriend was allergic
(by the way, we agreed on getting the cat before she used fridge money to buy the fish tank)
3. Would turn the heat AND the air conditioner on simultaneously in her room and expect me to pay 1/2 the electricity for it.
4. Would call into work when “Aunt Flow” was in town and spend the whole 3 days on the living room couch dressed in her mangy robe, moving only to use the bathroom, and not even to shower
5. Would continuously get us warning of eviction from the building manager for noise problems.
6. Would eat 1/2 my food and never replace it.
7. Not once invited me to go grocery shopping when she went, even though she had a car and i didn’t (but still stole my food)
8. Purposely broke my table on the way out of the apartment our last day as roommates (I got back for that one though, I threw water balloons into her moving truck from my new apartment. The building manager had agreed to let us out of our lease early if she promised never to live there again. I took a studio apartment in the same building.)
Pot smoking clean freak!
So here it is…myself and my friend had found a GREAT apartment, and the 3rd roommate, a good friend of mine, backed out at the last minute…hearing friends give positive recommendations about people they found on craiglist, we decided to go that route…we found people right away, as the place is inexpensive and very nice, and my roommate and I are both quite friendly and accommodating. Anyway, it was a female (we’re both males), but she was very nice, very willing to split all the costs of things such as cleaning products, cable, internet, utilities, etc. Our lease started soon, so we said, sure, this will be fine.
Within just a few days, it was clear things WEREN’T going to work out. Not only was she incredibly annoying (one of those people who backs you into a corner and talks for about half an hour when it’s clear that you are busy), and was constantly complaining about the condition of the apartment, even though it was fairly immaculate. My roommate and I were very busy with work (oh yeah, the third roommate, to my knowledge, didn’t have a job), and were rarely there. One day I got home, and the apartment REEKED of pot. I knew the roommate smoked a lot of pot, and even told her that what she did in her room was her business, but I didn’t want that going on in the living room and kitchen-area, because I didn’t want the smell permeating and sticking around. She said OK. Came up 2 nights later, and she is sitting on MY couch in the living room, smoking a bowl with her boyfriend. OK, maybe she didn’t understand me. I told her AGAIN to not smoke pot in the living room. Few nights later, you can take a guess what I caught her doing.
OK, so that’s just how it started…she then came complaining to me a few days ago that she really can’t live with guys, she wants to clean the bathroom every day, and it’s just too time consuming. I made it clear to her that we definitely want to have and enjoy a clean apartment, but we have to be reasonable…in other words, we’re not cleaning the bathroom and kitchen counter with antibacterial soap every day, it’s insane. She then went on to say that she basically wants to move out…I said OK, but made it clear that we need to find another roommate to fill her spot before she is relieved of her duty to pay rent (we have a signed sub-lease for 1 year). She kept blabbering away, and I finally just left the apartment. The next night, I went up to the place, and her whole room is cleared out, literally as if she had never moved in. She then calls my roommate and tells him that she is demanding half of November’s rent back, because I was so messy that she had to clean for 8 hours. Mind you, I use the bathroom to shower, I sleep in my own room of course, and have rarely used the common area.